… actually, skinny jeans aren’t the friend of MOST women, but I’ll come back to that.

The other day when I was jean shopping at Old Navy, I decided to throw all caution to the wind and buy a pair of skinny jeans. I must have been smoking crack at the time.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have kind of a strange body. I’ve got boobs for days, a high waist, am heaviest in the middle, no butt, big thighs and long legs (sounds weird, but it all works together). I’m very H shaped, and I have learned how to work with the body I have. Even when I lose the weight, I’ll still be H shaped – straight from the bust line to the thighs – and that’s fine. Thanks to the extraordinary image skills of mi madre, I usually know what to wear and what not to for my shape.

So, clearly, I must have had a brain fart when I decided to buy these things. I admit that I fell victim to a fad. I thought, “if I wear a large, flowy sweater on top, it’ll balance me out, and they will look so hot with winter high-heeled boots”. Usually true, especially when it comes to the gorgeous sweaters and boots that I own, but not this time. No matter what I tried as a top and no matter how high the heel, the jeans just didn’t work.

Pro: They fit, and that calls for a Snoopy happy dance right there.
Con: Not everything that FITS you should see the light of day.

There wasn’t enough balance between my thighs and the bottom of my legs. Skinny jeans are designed for girls who are skinny (or slim) on their whole bottom half, and I’m not one of those girls. Back to the store they went.

The day after I bought the dreaded skinny jeans, I looked around at work and saw that lots of women were wearing them (apparently, most of them had brain farts just like I did). It’s like when you buy a new car, you suddenly notice how many people are driving the same make and model. Ladies… just because it’s POPULAR doesn’t mean we should put it on! I don’t mean this to sound like a diatribe entitled “fat women should avoid skinny jeans like the plague”, because there are a lot of curvy girls who look damn good in a skinny jean, and there are some skinny chicks who look anorexic when they put them on. It’s about knowing what’s right for your body type and knowing what you look and feel good in.

As I shrink, I know that I’m going to have to consistently buy new jeans every couple of months and, no matter what the size is, I know that I look and feel good in trouser or bootcut styles. Skinny jeans are not my friend. I know this now.