Like many of you, I have been on “diets” before. I’ve tried Atkins, Medifast, B-12 shots, the cabbage soup thing, NutriSystem, LA Weight Loss… goodness. Just writing them all out is eye-opening! I have yo-yoed with my weight for the last decade; always wanting to lose, but ending up gaining about 10 pounds each year. It has been frustrating, exhausting, debilitating, infuriating and disheartening to say the least.

But with all of these programs – all of the restrictions, the shots, the pills, the shakes – I have never, NEVER lost 23 pounds in two months. NEVER.

I was really, really nervous about getting on the dagblasted scale today. According to the Power 90 plan, I’m not scheduled to weigh and measure for another 8 days, but it’s been irking me and patience has never been my strong suit. I’m a “results” junkie – I need to see that all this hard work is actually paying off, and when I don’t see it I get freaked out. But I do see it… when I look in the mirror, I see changes in my face and my body. When I put clothes on, I see how they are much looser than before. I just needed to see if the scale reflected what I see in the mirror. So I pulled the scale out of the trunk of my car last night and laid it by my sneakers.

It stared at me all night, the fucker. It was trying to intimidate me.

I stepped in front of the scale this morning, and I had to have a little talk with myself. “Okay, Carla – your mama didn’t raise no punk. You can do this. Remember, it’s just INFORMATION. Whatever the number is, it’s just data. Take whatever it is and tweak as necessary.”

I stood on the scale and looked at my new number for QUITE some time. There is 23 pounds less of me than on August 4th (I have no idea if that sentence is grammatically correct, but who gives a shit?). I am stunned. I am STOKED. I am so, so grateful.

It hasn’t been “easy”, but it’s been easy. I haven’t been perfect, but I’ve been damn good. I am happier with these results than I have ever been with anything I’ve ever done before, because I know it’s the result of my own hard work. No shortcuts, no half-stepping, no excuses. I am so loving this journey. I’ve always been a pretty smart cookie; the kind of person who conquers the world on a daily basis. But I had always doubted whether I could conquer MYSELF and lose this weight. I now know that I can do anything I put my mind to; the last two months proves that.

The other 77 pounds don’t stand a chance.

Advertisements