This is why I love blogging, ladies and gents – you can say all kinds of things on here and people will understand that it’s all part of your process. Hey… even if you DON’T understand, it’s my blog. I’ll say what I damn well please.

Back to the topic at hand… I’m a pretty “regular” person, but the clean eating has me uber-regular! I’m, uh, “eliminating” 2-3 times daily, and I love it. Keep it clean, I always say!

I used to have issues with my, uh, elimination results. Small clumps that used to sink to the bottom of the bowl like rocks in a bucket. I knew this was a sign that my food wasn’t healthy and I longed for better, uh, production. But today was the day, people! FLOATERS! The heavens opened up! The angels sang! It was amazing! If I hadn’t been in a public restroom, I would have hooted and hollered!

This just makes me want to clean up my clean eating even more. I was in Whole Foods yesterday, wondering why it had been so long since I’ve been. I love everything about that store… it always makes me feel 100% healthier just walking around the aisles. I mean, I know I’m not healthy by osmosis or anything, but you get me.

I bought seeded spelt crackers, freshly made garlic hummus, dried cranberries (made with organic apple juice, not sugar), and tons of raw and roasted unsalted nuts. Did I mention how much I love Whole Foods?

My clean eating has been going very well. I’ve had a slip here and there, but nothing major. I also have managed to keep it at a “slip up” and get back on the wagon as opposed to falling off the wagon, rolling down the hill and running down the street to the nearest drive-thru. This works for me and more than that, I ENJOY it. It’s not a hardship at all – I’m a Virgo, and we love all the planning and preparation that goes with thinking ahead about food.

But with my recent toilet bowl adventures, I feel like I need to kick it up to the next level. First of all, I think my portion sizes are a bit big. Protein portions are supposed to be about the size of the palm of your hand, and I sometimes have about twice that. I could probably make my handfuls of nuts a little less “full”, and I know I need to beef up my veggie portions.

Beef up my veggie portions. Ha! I crack me up.

This is REALLY working. The internal proof always preceds the external, and now, I feel like it’s all really happening. Who knew shit would ever get me this giddy?