You ever been at the point where your whole life gets turned upside down? Where everything you thought you knew and the direction you were sure you were going in gets thrown in your face with a great big “HA!”? Yeah. I’m there.

I used to categorize myself as a stress eater. Strangely enough, I’m not as drawn to food as I would have been in the past. Right about now, I would’ve been hip deep in french fries, but I don’t feel like it. Not that I’m not feeling little twangs of desire for some chocolatey goodness, but nowhere near the intensity that I used to, so I can breathe through it.

It’s very odd how things are changing. I used to want to numb my emotions all the time. Whenever the smallest inkling of “feeling” started to rise up in me, I’d head for the drive-thru. I used to have such an emotional tie to food – I remember the feeling of being angry if I couldn’t eat what I wanted, when I wanted. I can also clearly remember that calm I would experience after the food was consumed. Now, I know it’s not worth it. It’s honestly better to move through the emotion than to try to suppress it with the biggest pizza possible.

So today, when I realized that my life was never going to be the same and I had to look at everything in a different way, I cried, I prayed, called a friend and I had a mini-tantrum. Then I breathed, had some chicken breast and quinoa, and came here to write it all out.

So much different than I have ever dealt with… anything.