Fuck the “day countdown”. I’m just raw. Period. However…

I never used to be a YouTube watcher. I mean, every once in awhile when someone would throw me a video link or something, but one of those people that would watch videos every day? Not me at all. Not even when I went natural did I succumb to what Tyra Banks referred to as “hair porn” – all the “how-to” natural video channels on YT. I appreciate them being there and all, but I just didn’t feel the need to scour. Since I went raw, however, I have been skulking around a few YT channels for information, information, and MORE information. I have fallen in love with liferegenerator’s “bad boy of raw food” channel and his no-nonsense take on raw foods, spirituality and fitness. Karen Knowler has GREAT recipes and a four-part raw food beginner video series. I also tune into the Raw Radience channel (although I sometimes am annoyed with the way this chick talks). Needless to say, I’m ODing on raw food info.

The one thing all this info does, however, is make you doubt yourself. I found myself questioning my current raw path after watching a series of videos last night, and it’s the place everyone on a “diet” finds themselves eventually. It’s that little voice in the back of your head that whispers, “Am I doing this right?”. I mean, I have this little mini travel blender, but I don’t have a Vitamix. I don’t own a juicer. Am I getting enough vegetables? Am I eating too much fruit? Should I be sprouting? What about making my own nut milk? OMG, what if I go out on a date? Is he going to look at me as what Eddie Murphy coined as “one of those salad-eatin’ bitches”? Do I need to go “gourmet raw”? am I getting enough variety in my diet? Am I eating too much? Am I eating too LITTLE? I’m not hungry… is that NORMAL???

Breathe, chick. Just breathe. I mean, damn. That’s how fast we can go down the spiral.

In the midst of this spin, another voice pops up and asks, “why do you always think you’re doing something WRONG? I mean, how do you FEEL?” This is the voice I listen to, thank God. I take a quick inventory: I feel good. Thinking, breathing… all clear. My body feels good. I don’t feel heavy or sleepy after eating. I’m not hungry at all. I eat when I feel like it, and I eat a good mix of veggies, fruits, and superfoods (the latter mostly in my daily smoothie). Since committing to raw and coming back from travel, I’ve lost 4.8 lbs (in 4 days). I’m drinking green tea and water.

What’s wrong with that? Survey says… nothing.

In the future, I’m sure I’ll get a better blender. I’ll invest in a Vitamix and a good juicer, but right now, my little mini travel blender will do the trick. I’ll learn to make different foods, but right now, experimenting with new raw veggies and fruits and incorporating them with my old standards is fine. I don’t need to sprout or make my own nut milk now… that’s a later thing (when I have a kitchen with more space!). I eat a good balance of fruits and veggies. I eat when I’m hungry. I eat until I’m satisfied (which is much less than before). I’m content.

I’m good for now. I’m doing what’s right for me.